My Mak

I'm sorry for not blogging for few days. Many things took place. Last weekend I went back to my mom's, to look after my kids. And of course to visit my grandmother who was just done a major surgery.

My grandmother and It me have a special relationship. Though she is my grandmother, but for 5 years I was her daughter. As I was born, my mother still in university, thus unable to take care of me. So, she sent me to her mother to look after her child. Eventually, I grew up, knowing my grandmother as my MOTHER. I even call her Mak, means mother, till today. My pain is her pain, my joy is her joy. My wedding picture is the only photo hanging at her bedroom wall after my grandfather died. And now she is in pain. I feel her, I feel her deeply. I wish I'm the one who has to go through it.

Mak has a mirror behaviour with me. We are sensitive person. We easily feel hurt. I understand that we should have least expectation on people. But that's theory. In real life, we expect our kids to give attention to us like we gave to them when they were little one. However, kids express their love towards their parents differently. Some will pour with money, but have no time for the old chaps. Some will go back once in awhile and caress, kiss and hug their parents. And some will attend their parents need, but they just don't know how to tell them how much their parents meant to them.

It was deeply sad when Mak said she wanna live with me when she is getting better. I don't how but if that's what she wants, I'll find the way so that I can make her wish come true. It is an honoured to have around. That's the least I can do for her.

Anyway, I always pray for her speedy recovery. I love you Mak.

And today, I was so shocked, trauma and deeply sad with the news I received in the early morning. Anies's mom died! She was so damn close with her mom. I can't imagine what she is going through now. Be strong, sayang!

Mak with my youngest son, Aaron Idris