Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Happy Birthday, Malaysia!

From morning till now, I’m listening to ‘Saya Anak Malaysia’ song. Tomorrow is my country’s Independence Day. I’m so thrill to celebrate as this is the 55^th year Malaysia commemorating the independence of the Federation of Malaya from British colonial rule.

As for me, many years before I felt that it was just like another holiday. A little breaks during weekdays, off from office or school. But as I grew older, I started to appreciate what does it meant behind the celebration. It isn’t about the marching in front of the Merdeka Square or putting the small flag at front of our car. But it’s about the freedom to do it so.

With the freedom, I can move around my country, say what I wish to say as long as it doesn’t touch sensitive issue that might raise up unwanted spat, go to work, chill at the café, get medical assistant when I’m not well and many more.

I don’t think I’m able to enjoy it if my country is still under other’s supervision. Now, we rule our own country, we decide what we want and we freely can execute what we plan.

Unfortunately, there are many Malaysians who are not being grateful, and raise up sensitive issues which shouldn’t be discuss (i.e Malay special privileges). BERSIH Rallies are events that bring nothing but shame to our country. If you are not happy to be a Malaysian and think this country is not good enough for you, please get out from here. I believe, if you have a taste of staying abroad, you will appreciate your home country. And if you have experience staying in third world country, you will appreciate what the government had done so far to develop our country.

Thus, stop complaining. Stop asking what the country can give to you and start asking yourself what you can contribute to your motherland.

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA!

MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

SAYA ANAK MALAYSIA! DAN SAYA BANGGA MENJADI ANAK MALAYSIA!

How many identities do you have?

Few nights before, while lazing at home and folding clean clothes, I caught a movie called ‘Identity’. The movie was starring by Amanda Peet, Ray Liotta, John Cusack and many other big names.

It’s about a bunch of people who ended up at the same motel and one by one was been killed. In finding the killer, they found the similarity between them. Actually all the persons in the motel were the characters of a person as he had split identity. Some were good, some were bad. And at the end of the story, the bad character killed the good one.

This story is about us as well. Though it might not be as dramatic as this movie, but each of us has many characters in us. They are mix between good and bad and it lead to negative and positive outcomes. This is the nature of a human being and thank God, he equips us with brain to think rationally because we make our action.

There is no human being is 100% has angel heart or devil character. So, the killers still have soft spot in themselves and the ulamaks also have deleterious characters in them. It’s how they carry themselves, how they control they feeling and thought.

What we can learn here is that:

1. Don’t judge a person too fast. They might look deceiving, but the devil in them can still unleash

2.Control our bad habits, behaviours and character.

3. Find the inner peace.

4. Don’t be angry. A person asked Rasullullah SAW on how be in heaven. Rasullullah repeatedly replied and advice to not be angry. Rationally, if we get angry, we tend to lose ourselves and many unwanted things might occur because we are not being ourselves. 

MM and Somalia

Selamat Hari Raya to all! How was your raya? To those who don’t celebrate it, how was your holiday? Hopefully it was fabulous as you wish. Well, I’ll update on my raya celebration on next post as now I want to share something I’ve learned today.

I dragged myself from my bed to shower and prepare to work as today is the first working day after a long break. But it is kind of fruitful to me. It hasn’t end yet, but a lot of things happened. I went through a proposal and made my comments on it. And I attended a sharing session with Mercy Malaysia humanitarian worker from Somalia. He just drops by in between his mission to share with us on his work in Somalia.

First of all, I would like to clarify that this post is not about slamming anybody or any organizations. This post also doesn’t mean to hurt anybody’s feeling. If my ‘facts’ are incorrect, please let me know. I love to know more. My understanding is from secondary data and information.

Yasir, a Somalian, a fresh graduate handsome guy who has no experience in humanitarian work, is in my office to share his experience. He presented nice slides on MM work in Somalia. I learned that MM involves a lot with health cluster. To me it is good. Reason being, MM as a small INGO is mingling with other INGO; networking I meant!

He explained on MM work and MM involvement with heath cluster. From the explanation, I understood that though WHO is the cluster leader, their involvement is not as large as the name. The involvement is not as large the capacity. Is not as large the needs. That is sad. So sad.

I conclude that WHO is taking the advantage of the weak Somali government. WHO takes the advantage the media. They know how to get the limelight. They shine at the right time. We are talking about people who are malnourish, who needs your help. Thus, please get out from Nairobi, Kenya and help this people physically!

Yasir also briefed that Somalis have problem in trusting INGO because they come, they put down the goods, take picture and off they go!

I’m not complaining, but I guess some NGO or people making humanitarian work as a glamour thing to do. It looks sexy. I hope you get what I meant. They forgot the main reason why they are called humanitarian worker. It involves humanity, HEAVILY!

Hijab in Me

Raya preparation is not end yet. One more thing that is not done yet is my Hijab. I still couldn’t get the right hijab for my baju kurung. For those who don’t know what is baju kurung, actually it is a Malay traditional costume. It consists of a long blouse with a skirt. 

My history of wearing hijab starts few years ago. It happened in Kuwait, where I lived with my husband and our newborn baby, Maleec Ismael. My mother gave me lectures on the importance of covering my head and other part of my body since I was 15. But my ego was huge at that time, as I refused to do that though I know I have to bear with the consequences when qiamat (doomsday).

However, my pregnancy and child delivery changed my opinion about hijab. It's all because of my love towards my husband. He was there with me during my pain, holding my hands. From his face I knew he wished I could transfer the pain to him. During my confinement, he was the focal person; fetching Maleec from the crib for breastfeeding and helped Maleec to burp after he was full. In short, he was by my side all the time, going through the hardship with me. And I know he did that because he loves me so much and it is his duties to do all the stuff. He did his part and I didn't do my par Why did I say I didn't do my part?

My first appearance with head scarf

In Islam, a woman has to cover her entire body except for her face and hand in front of non-mahram man. Thus, covering your hair is a must too as it is a part of awrah, otherwise, it is a sin. Once the woman is married, her husband has the responsibility to take care of the woman, including teaching her to practise the lifestyle as a Muslim. 

I don't want my husband to carry my sin just because of my ego. That is the reason why I change my image. It was easy after all. I don't have to throw away my wardrobe, rather I just need to add more jackets and cardigans to cover my bare arms. My mother was happy with the new me. She gave me lots of hijab. My husband was speechless and completely support my decision. 

I was ashamed when I went to the shop to get my first scarf. The woman asked me whether I just converted to Islam. I told her I was born as a Muslim, but only now I take the Islam law seriously. 

I'm happy that I've changed to what I'm now. I love my current image, but now I have a major mission to complete: getting a new scarf by today! Can you help me?

Anyway, I watched few hijab tutorial, tutorial, tutorial at youtube. Let me share with you, perhaps some might suit your style! Enjoy!

Force of Nature

Dear friends,

I've just updated my Facebook Page with more new arrivals. Please keep scrolling down as you might something new for your wardrobe. :)

Close-up at the print

Close-up at the print

Close-up at the print

Close-up at the print

Close-up at the print

If you wanna have a better look at those lovely collections or need more information, please go here. We deliver worldwide.

Thanks people. Goodnite!

2012 Raya Preparation

Eid ul Fitr is coming, in 3 days! Are you excited to celebrate it? Are you sad to leave Ramadhan? To me, yes to both.

This is the first year I went through Ramadhan without my kids by my side. They are at my mom’s as my mother-in-law (MIL) can’t take care of them during this period. She clearly told us that she needs to rest for a month. Thus, my mom offered us to take care of the kids. I jumped in joy as I couldn’t imagine the kids with other people except with family members.

I went back to see them at most of the weekend except last week as we spent it by preparing for Syawal. Hubby can’t join me because either he was sick or he was too sad to say goodbye on Sunday when we supposed to come back to Kuala Lumpur.

Kids are happy at my mom’s. They are so close and clingy with all my siblings and my parents. When my mom left to Pangkor Island attending a meeting, my stepfather and brother took care of my kids. Alhamdullillah, I have reliable family members.

Last week hubby and I did clothes shopping for kids. We shop till we totally dropped! Sogo Complex was full with people as when we were on the escalators and looked down, it looked like colorful ants were after sugar. We managed to grab some cool outfits for both of them, and went to Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman to get their baju melayu. Wait for the pictures soon! I can’t wait to see Maleec and Aaron in their baju melayu.

Semut in Sogo Complex

Tudung bawal from Aidijuma

Necklaces from Jalan TAR

For raya cookies, I did 2 types only; biskut arab and my famous chocolate chips cookies. It took several batches as I did for my house, for mom and MIL too. It tastes good and it such a lost for those who can’t try itJ

Biskut Arab in the making

Crunchy chocolate chips cookies

Most of the people in my office are already left to their hometown. Sadly, I have to work till tomorrow. But the raya mood is already in me, thus I can’t really bother about work. Hehe.

Ok people, Happy Aidilfitri, sorry body and soul. If you are free, please drop by at my house a week after raya!

Childhood

I have 2 kids. Maleec Ismael, 3, and Aaron Idris, 1. I love both of them very much. I just can't describe how much I love them both. I want nothing but the best in their life. I believe every parents want the same for their kids. However, Allah tests each of us in different way. Some are very rich and Allah test them on how they use their wealth to help others. Some are not well in health and Allah tests on how patient are they in facing their illness.

This year, can say almost everyday I bought my Iftar dishes from Pasar Ramadhan. There, I can see lots of kids, as old as 4-5 years old, helping their parents selling food. It happens to be their parents finding money to support their life by selling food at Pasar Ramadhan. Its not a bad job, but I just feel so pity to the kids.

This evening I saw a kid, wearing an apron,  was attending his younger brother as old as Aaron on the stroller. His brother was crying, perhaps because he was bored or just didn't feel good staying on the stroller for a long time. So the older brother was pushing the stroller in circle as he has no where else to go, to comfort his little brother. I bet it is the last resort for their parents to bring them to their workplace.

At the busy Pasar Ramadhan, don't be surprise if you see mother and their kids on the road floor, asking for people's donation. Some of their kids are ill, not normally healthy like our kids. Some have normal kids, but their life is hard, must be staying under poverty line. Many times I saw babies stay at their mom's tits, just make me wonder is the milk is fully nutritional like us who can eat everything at anytime.

We may have different childhood experience. But as parents, we should plan the best for our offspring. Their life rely a lot on us. We are the one who mold them. Their presence determine their future. May Allah protect  all of us. Amin.

It's Because of Her

I'm old at heart. Seriously. When I was 4-5 years old, I was my grandmother's best accompany chewing betel nut wrapped in betel leaves. I love playing dress up in my grandmother's old clothes and I was like crazy looking after her kebaya when she was about to throw them away.

And I grow older, I start treasuring vintage stuffs. Vintage clothes, shoes, handbags, accessories and anything name vintage. It's hard to find quality vintage goods especially clothes in Malaysia, thus I made ones for myself!

I am becoming obsess with many bloggers, designers and celebrities that love vintage look. But today, let me introduce my blogger that I adore the way she don her vintage look.

It is... RHIANNON!!! I found her when I was still in Kuwait. Starting from that day, I becoming a regular in textile shops, buying cheap to make vintage inspired clothes. I'm so embarrass to show what I've sewn but I promise I'll show them one fine day.

Before, Rhiannon is vintage items hunter and she will sell it at ebay. But now she and her friends expand heir business by having their own collection.

This is the link to her website. My advice is, please don't get addicted to her blog! She is dangerous:)

Owh, and she introduces me to a lot of cool designers that we never knew they exist.

Please don't be fool by that innocent look!

I Am Happy!

I feel good today. So good! So good!

Ok, hihihi... lemme story mory what happened today....

Eventually I applied a position in IRC-RSC as Caseworker. I'm excited (yes, till now!) when I learned that I was shortlisted for interview. I studied as if I have to get four flat. I studied hard.

And of course I managed to answered all the questions well.

But what made me so happy today is that I had the opportunity to be in UNHCR compound! OMG! It's like dream come true. That is a real battle. Helping out refugees is forever an emergency response.

Thanks so much for the opportunity!

My Mak

I'm sorry for not blogging for few days. Many things took place. Last weekend I went back to my mom's, to look after my kids. And of course to visit my grandmother who was just done a major surgery.

My grandmother and It me have a special relationship. Though she is my grandmother, but for 5 years I was her daughter. As I was born, my mother still in university, thus unable to take care of me. So, she sent me to her mother to look after her child. Eventually, I grew up, knowing my grandmother as my MOTHER. I even call her Mak, means mother, till today. My pain is her pain, my joy is her joy. My wedding picture is the only photo hanging at her bedroom wall after my grandfather died. And now she is in pain. I feel her, I feel her deeply. I wish I'm the one who has to go through it.

Mak has a mirror behaviour with me. We are sensitive person. We easily feel hurt. I understand that we should have least expectation on people. But that's theory. In real life, we expect our kids to give attention to us like we gave to them when they were little one. However, kids express their love towards their parents differently. Some will pour with money, but have no time for the old chaps. Some will go back once in awhile and caress, kiss and hug their parents. And some will attend their parents need, but they just don't know how to tell them how much their parents meant to them.

It was deeply sad when Mak said she wanna live with me when she is getting better. I don't how but if that's what she wants, I'll find the way so that I can make her wish come true. It is an honoured to have around. That's the least I can do for her.

Anyway, I always pray for her speedy recovery. I love you Mak.

And today, I was so shocked, trauma and deeply sad with the news I received in the early morning. Anies's mom died! She was so damn close with her mom. I can't imagine what she is going through now. Be strong, sayang!

Mak with my youngest son, Aaron Idris