2012 Raya Preparation

Eid ul Fitr is coming, in 3 days! Are you excited to celebrate it? Are you sad to leave Ramadhan? To me, yes to both.

This is the first year I went through Ramadhan without my kids by my side. They are at my mom’s as my mother-in-law (MIL) can’t take care of them during this period. She clearly told us that she needs to rest for a month. Thus, my mom offered us to take care of the kids. I jumped in joy as I couldn’t imagine the kids with other people except with family members.

I went back to see them at most of the weekend except last week as we spent it by preparing for Syawal. Hubby can’t join me because either he was sick or he was too sad to say goodbye on Sunday when we supposed to come back to Kuala Lumpur.

Kids are happy at my mom’s. They are so close and clingy with all my siblings and my parents. When my mom left to Pangkor Island attending a meeting, my stepfather and brother took care of my kids. Alhamdullillah, I have reliable family members.

Last week hubby and I did clothes shopping for kids. We shop till we totally dropped! Sogo Complex was full with people as when we were on the escalators and looked down, it looked like colorful ants were after sugar. We managed to grab some cool outfits for both of them, and went to Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman to get their baju melayu. Wait for the pictures soon! I can’t wait to see Maleec and Aaron in their baju melayu.

Semut in Sogo Complex

Tudung bawal from Aidijuma

Necklaces from Jalan TAR

For raya cookies, I did 2 types only; biskut arab and my famous chocolate chips cookies. It took several batches as I did for my house, for mom and MIL too. It tastes good and it such a lost for those who can’t try itJ

Biskut Arab in the making

Crunchy chocolate chips cookies

Most of the people in my office are already left to their hometown. Sadly, I have to work till tomorrow. But the raya mood is already in me, thus I can’t really bother about work. Hehe.

Ok people, Happy Aidilfitri, sorry body and soul. If you are free, please drop by at my house a week after raya!

Childhood

I have 2 kids. Maleec Ismael, 3, and Aaron Idris, 1. I love both of them very much. I just can't describe how much I love them both. I want nothing but the best in their life. I believe every parents want the same for their kids. However, Allah tests each of us in different way. Some are very rich and Allah test them on how they use their wealth to help others. Some are not well in health and Allah tests on how patient are they in facing their illness.

This year, can say almost everyday I bought my Iftar dishes from Pasar Ramadhan. There, I can see lots of kids, as old as 4-5 years old, helping their parents selling food. It happens to be their parents finding money to support their life by selling food at Pasar Ramadhan. Its not a bad job, but I just feel so pity to the kids.

This evening I saw a kid, wearing an apron,  was attending his younger brother as old as Aaron on the stroller. His brother was crying, perhaps because he was bored or just didn't feel good staying on the stroller for a long time. So the older brother was pushing the stroller in circle as he has no where else to go, to comfort his little brother. I bet it is the last resort for their parents to bring them to their workplace.

At the busy Pasar Ramadhan, don't be surprise if you see mother and their kids on the road floor, asking for people's donation. Some of their kids are ill, not normally healthy like our kids. Some have normal kids, but their life is hard, must be staying under poverty line. Many times I saw babies stay at their mom's tits, just make me wonder is the milk is fully nutritional like us who can eat everything at anytime.

We may have different childhood experience. But as parents, we should plan the best for our offspring. Their life rely a lot on us. We are the one who mold them. Their presence determine their future. May Allah protect  all of us. Amin.

It's Because of Her

I'm old at heart. Seriously. When I was 4-5 years old, I was my grandmother's best accompany chewing betel nut wrapped in betel leaves. I love playing dress up in my grandmother's old clothes and I was like crazy looking after her kebaya when she was about to throw them away.

And I grow older, I start treasuring vintage stuffs. Vintage clothes, shoes, handbags, accessories and anything name vintage. It's hard to find quality vintage goods especially clothes in Malaysia, thus I made ones for myself!

I am becoming obsess with many bloggers, designers and celebrities that love vintage look. But today, let me introduce my blogger that I adore the way she don her vintage look.

It is... RHIANNON!!! I found her when I was still in Kuwait. Starting from that day, I becoming a regular in textile shops, buying cheap to make vintage inspired clothes. I'm so embarrass to show what I've sewn but I promise I'll show them one fine day.

Before, Rhiannon is vintage items hunter and she will sell it at ebay. But now she and her friends expand heir business by having their own collection.

This is the link to her website. My advice is, please don't get addicted to her blog! She is dangerous:)

Owh, and she introduces me to a lot of cool designers that we never knew they exist.

Please don't be fool by that innocent look!

I Am Happy!

I feel good today. So good! So good!

Ok, hihihi... lemme story mory what happened today....

Eventually I applied a position in IRC-RSC as Caseworker. I'm excited (yes, till now!) when I learned that I was shortlisted for interview. I studied as if I have to get four flat. I studied hard.

And of course I managed to answered all the questions well.

But what made me so happy today is that I had the opportunity to be in UNHCR compound! OMG! It's like dream come true. That is a real battle. Helping out refugees is forever an emergency response.

Thanks so much for the opportunity!

My Mak

I'm sorry for not blogging for few days. Many things took place. Last weekend I went back to my mom's, to look after my kids. And of course to visit my grandmother who was just done a major surgery.

My grandmother and It me have a special relationship. Though she is my grandmother, but for 5 years I was her daughter. As I was born, my mother still in university, thus unable to take care of me. So, she sent me to her mother to look after her child. Eventually, I grew up, knowing my grandmother as my MOTHER. I even call her Mak, means mother, till today. My pain is her pain, my joy is her joy. My wedding picture is the only photo hanging at her bedroom wall after my grandfather died. And now she is in pain. I feel her, I feel her deeply. I wish I'm the one who has to go through it.

Mak has a mirror behaviour with me. We are sensitive person. We easily feel hurt. I understand that we should have least expectation on people. But that's theory. In real life, we expect our kids to give attention to us like we gave to them when they were little one. However, kids express their love towards their parents differently. Some will pour with money, but have no time for the old chaps. Some will go back once in awhile and caress, kiss and hug their parents. And some will attend their parents need, but they just don't know how to tell them how much their parents meant to them.

It was deeply sad when Mak said she wanna live with me when she is getting better. I don't how but if that's what she wants, I'll find the way so that I can make her wish come true. It is an honoured to have around. That's the least I can do for her.

Anyway, I always pray for her speedy recovery. I love you Mak.

And today, I was so shocked, trauma and deeply sad with the news I received in the early morning. Anies's mom died! She was so damn close with her mom. I can't imagine what she is going through now. Be strong, sayang!

Mak with my youngest son, Aaron Idris

Drilling gold in the middle of the sea

I've been married for almost 5 years. I'm happy with my marriage. I openly talk about it with people that I trust and I'm close with. I'm married to hubby when he was working with Schlumberger as Measurement While Drilling (MWD) Engineer in Kuwait. Thus I followed him there. I'm writing this in a point form since I'm lazy to write in long para.

Positive

1.  The money can motivate you as it is good. They have fix salary plus allowance.
2. Everything is provided. Housing allowance, transportation allowance, kids’ education… name it. You just need to take out money for food.
3. You have plenty of the time for yourself. Talking about independent ladies who have ample of things to do. It gives you the status half married half solo as they are absent most of the time. You can do whatever you want, wake up at anytime, whether you want to bathe or not, no worries on cooking and tidying up the house. In fact, do whatever you wish to do.
4.  You get to travel! And it is free! Usually they have to attend training that will be abroad. It depends on their supervisor; some are nice and put your training in fancy places all over the world. Some are stingy that will send you to the nearest place. And they stay at posh hotel, for your information!


Negative


1. Their absent. Their absent make me sick, a lot of time. He wasn’t there throughout my pregnancy. He wasn’t there for Ramadhan. He wasn’t there on my birthday. The schedule can be suck.
2.  False hope. Not his fault. But my advice is don’t simply take it when they said they will be there at certain time. The timing for them to be at the rig is not fixed. It depends on many factors. Sometimes they thought they can wrap up in a week but it drags till a month.
3. Their safety. You are shit out worrying about them as the risks towards danger are high. They are in red zone most of the time. Pray hard. Don’t stop praying for them.
4. Worn out. They always burn out. Working at rig need a person who is physically fit. That is rule number one.  They work not eight hours per day but at least 12 hours per day. Sometimes it is 24 hours and sometimes 2 days sleepless night in a row. They jump from one rig to another too. An accident that made me really sad to both of us was oneday that I was told by him that he was on the way home. I was super excited since we haven’t seen each other for almost a month. But I received a call from him (I know it was hard for him to make that call) saying that he has to go to other rig as they didn’t have enough engineer. My heart was crushed. It wasn’t his fault. But it devastated me a lot.
5. They are available 24/7. Yes! That’s the deal. So, anytime they be call up to report duty, off they have to go. There were times when we were at mall, almost sleep, while having movies and many other occasions that he got the call to go to the rig.


Conclusion


1. Life is not easy. Sending hubby to the lift is the hardest thing to do at that time. I was dragging my feet back home and close the door of the empty house everytime he left to the rig. 
2.  It has a balance positive and negative, but it is extreme. The money can make you extremely happy but the work schedule can put both parties at extremely stress level.
3. You have to know how to tackle them. They are tired. Give them a break. Try to find the way to make yourself happy. Work, kids, shopping, whatever!

Why my post today is about my past? Because he told me he wants to get back to the rig. I just can’t let it happen as I know how it will affect my life, our life.

And recently there were many news involve people working at oil rig. Thus, it was a generous offer Baker Hughes, thank you so much, but no thanks!

Marriage and ME

Marriage is not a simple relationship. It unique, it’s complicated. Just imagination two different people, with different mindset, are living under one roof. We, even individually sometimes have mix problem and battling with ourselves. Imagine when we have different interest and have to settle for the best.

Human being is not a robot. We have feelings, many kinds of feeling. And it is control with our brain and heart. Sometimes, we might lose our grip. So what are we holing on? Again it comes back to the sense we have, religion!

I admit sometimes I had low time with my husband. Sometimes we quarrel on the pettiest thing in the world and not worth to discuss. But that is not important. The important thing is how you handle it. It doesn’t mean you have to scream to get what you want. Discuss and tolerate. When misunderstanding or different interest takes place and the situation is heating up, you just have to know how to stop. Just relax awhile and collect yourself. Remember what the purpose you have this conversation: to get the best result. Thus, calm down.

Seriously, this is a bloody reminder to me. I love myself, kids, husband, parents, siblings and family. I don’t want to regret with my fool act.

I can’t stop thinking bout the lady that was found dead by her husband in their room, hanging herself at the fan. http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/Dalam_Negeri/20120730/dn_14/Eksekutif-TV9-ditemui-mati

How about her son? Husband? Parents? I know I’m not in her shoes. But I guess I learn a lot from this tragedy and to value more what I have in my life. I have to be wiser in many things. Ya Allah, please guide me.